Don't think I've gone awol. As ever, I blast gratitude to you every day as I nourish myself with your transmissions or flip open the Miracle Workers Handbook for a prayer or Affirmations 101 to see what I can affirm all day even if for just that moment thrice at least.
I've just been so busy as its the most intense season in my profession to the point where I've been barely able to keep up with shifts to the point where my body keeps screaming for sleep or adrenal reset or flares in allergies and hormones fly off the handle aka burnout. Yet!! No place for grievances here cuz as I ride out the symptoms of fatigue, hunger, worry etc. I know its all part and parcel of a paradigm shift and dying to the old. Yes its unnerving but the bigger picture is there is much abundance within and without and Consciousness rising like never before that even if it's mostly hanging on to what may seem the same old hamster wheels of habitual labor and errands, I know its me dying to the old as my body gasps for rest and relaxation and strains for stasis. There is a newfound bravado that is rising from my depths, not talking myself into it but an organic arrival cuz the same structures just don't hold anymore. The best way I can describe it is new being choices that are shaking life as I know it. I know! Its that chemicalization you talk about!
Just last week I had for the first time in 16 years a work site injury. I went in at 8am and cut my head open in a freak accident from fatigue. I finished the shift successfully, got worksmans comp immediately, breezed over to that fabulous walkin clinic on Santa Monica and Harper, got 5 staples to the head and a tetanus shot and was brimming with gratitude at the ease of it all even though my nerves were frayed. Great example of "show up, on time, doing what you said...."
Even if my circumstances aren't shifting in big ass ways no matter, cuz whats invaluable is seeing with more clarity than ever before the beliefs and core patterns in my subterranean depths that drive everything in my life and inviting a shift in them which on a meager day may be merely "lots can happen" or "I always have what I need." Or on a pumped up day exclaiming even more bold, confident and specific statements when in a flow of adrenaline and high, then the affirmations arise organically as do the imaginings. It's light, its fun and it flows.
But the Universe is shrieking for attention full of love and support even when I'm in madwoman spirals of silent fear and anger.
Allow me to share some shots taken just in the last 48hrs of billboards and signs in my face even when I'm in a mental hole at best, mental hell at worst:
Was just driving home on San Vicente and at the red light I glance over to see a fully lit billboard almost suspended in mid air of a fiercely fabulous Nina Simone with a neon yellow sentence across her face saying "I'll tell you what freedom is to me....NO FEAR." I then pull into Ralph's for some water and right by the jugs is a wall of coupons one blaring "Love the Real You." I dashed to Bristol Farms near famished during my shift Sunday morning and right in front of me is a guy wearing a Tshirt that says on the back "We believe in having fun in everything we do. Life should be fun. And people should be happy." Not even subtle. I go to an acupuncture session and take the stairwell out and on the wall is painted a purple triangle with "you are now climbing the stairway to success!" I get a cupcake from grocer and on top of the frosting is white icing shaped like a heart I walk into another shift and the manager has a friend visiting wearing an angora sweater with hearts and the word love all over it. Another billboard campaign I see daily is the UCLA extension program "be what you wanted to be when you grew up" or "The body is beautiful. Get used to it."
Ok. You get it. And this is just in the last 48hrs. If I were to compile all the visuals in my face since Self Love boot camp started it would make for one of those coffee table books made on a Mac! Hmm...
This long wjnded testimonial thanks to word prediction on my cell phone is all a transmission of gratitude for the Joy Academy, the Love Boot Camp blog, the Grow Bolder examples, the Jane Fonda clips and many other embeds that you share else I wouldn't know about. The teaching of paradigm shifting vs piddly thought changing, the wonderful suggestion to hug oneself with "wonderful wonderful me!" And on and on it goes. The beat don't stop from the badass Mothership in the desert of dreams, man!
And now its drizzling so I leave you full of love and appreciation and shared excitement for the best Holiday Season we have ever had so far!